I am on an adventure! For people that know me that is the best thing ever! I have grown to love the journey to new and exciting things.

First, I am sharing my weekly videos that I do here on my blog. I started doing live informational videos on Facebook about 9 months ago and so I am proud of my work and am looking to send it out to a bigger audience.

Second, I am expanding myself to possibly doing in person speaking to different groups, ie: churches, AA groups and maybe some civics groups. Not sure, but open to the possibilities.

And finally, I have a dream on my bucket list to go and do a “open mike night” at a comedy club. Who knows I may have a new career? HAHAHAHA!

Lunatic Fringe Forever!!!!

Of course nothing can be easy so I had to reload my videos and it’s taking longer than I thought it would take. And since I am not a computer wizard it will take longer.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!

Lunatic Fringe forever………….?

Hi everyone, this is the day I will be adding videos to my site!!!

So I need to let you know now that there are 16 videos going up today and as I make new ones each week I will add them. Today maybe some overkill, but I am working on the new version of my blog site and I hope to have a new and improved presentation. I am really excited so please bear with me as I am under construction.

Lunatic Fringe Forever

OK, so I think there is something in the water. For some God knows reason, it is baffling me that there is not a universal outrage with all the killing going on. Have we become so comfortable with our own existence that we completely disregard that there are billions of people being killed every day.

That is harsh! I know, but 19 children, 2 teachers, a grandmother and a husband. Not to mention the Ukraine situation. Have we become so dis sensitized to violence that we have given away our souls. There has to be something in the water. I have no other explanation for the blah-say atmosphere. This will sound really out there, but I feel it. I feel an aura of complacent indifference. Have we become a culture that is only interested in getting their own 15minutes of fame posting on Tik-Tok that the rest of the world can go fuck itself. What is wrong with us.

I have Facebook, but I refuse to have tik-tok. My Facebook is filled with empowerment and love. I choose to use my profile, my writing in the advancement of kindness and love. I also want to allow people into my story, to show through my words what I experience living with a mental illness. I am dumb-founded by the violence and total disregard for human life. What the Fuck!!!

I am ranting today because I am trying to wrap my head around the indifference. Trust me I am not trying to be “Holier than thou” I just am frustrated. I look at the blatant corruption of our government. The career politicians getting rich off our backs, the justice system taking rights away from women and the total lack of truth. Then on top of that 19 beautiful innocent children are gunned down like shooting fish in a barrel. They never had a chance. Am I the only one mad.

I know I am not the only one mad, for sure, but why WHY is some stupid bimbo or DIY or what ever the lasted trend on Tik Tok getting more views then the outrage of people about ALL the bullshit happening. Oh how wonderful social media is, but we don’t talk to each other any more. Our children have no concept of talking. “Just text me,” NO I want to hear your voice and look you in the eye and hear the words coming out of your mouth!

I am crazy all by myself and truly we have all had enough stress in the last several years. The time has come to re-emerge from the darkness and bring the light to all the shit we have let slide by because of circumstance. I got my activism bug from my Momma, it is her fault. I was very comfortable being a silent warrior, but now I am tuned in. I have been joking with my husband that I want to run for President. Can’t do any worse than what we have had in the last 6 years.

Felicia Hall for President!!! I am the poor man’s candidate, I live on disability and medicare as does my husband, I am educated with a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology and I am honest, really. I hate liars and I believe that there is no room for beating around a bush.

OK that is my schtick! Love just love and be kind. My heart breaks for the families who lost their children and the children that lost their parents. How many children have to die before we get really pissed off and do something.

There is something is the water, it has made us numb to everything. I hope the Koolaide tasted good because I have a really bad taste in my mouth!

Lunatic Fringe Forever!!!!!!!!

Woke up at 5A.M. after falling asleep in my recliner. Went to to my bed and slept for three more hours just so I would feel like getting something accomplished today. On a day like today, the sun is shining through the haze of wild fire smoke, blowing in from the west. My cat is napping on the bed two feet from me and I can hear her gentle purring. Drank my first cup of coffee and am headed to get the second.

On a day like today, I should be out enjoying the warmth of the Spring, but of course there a the bills to pay and groceries to buy, but in my mind I am sitting by the lake reading a good book. Responsibility sucks especially when the day is calling. On a day like today my creative side is screaming to do something, anything. Paying bills is not really creative.

On a day like today the phone continues to intrude on my life. The problem is I can’t turn it off because I am alone and my husband is away. I can only hope to turn off the notifications so that it is not beeping repetitively. On a day like today the phone needs to thrown out a window. There is nothing so important that needs my attention.

On a day like today, the most important thing that needs attention is me. I want to write, I want to rest, I want to rearrange my cabinets, I want to go shopping, I want to do anything but the obstacle is my body. There is no cooperation. My mind is full of ideas and my body is broken. On a day like today I can only work slowly then stop. I want to achieve, I want to feel the gift of this day.

On a day like today complaining is counterproductive. But I live in a shell of a body that will not do what I need it to do. Yes, I have heard all the wonderful encouragement saying, “It is OK to take your time, be proud of the things you can do, and there is no shame in slowing down.” On a day like today I remember the strong body, the things I could do before the broken, and I become frustrated.

On a day like today there is no place for frustration! On a day like today I am grateful for being able to dream, accomplish anything. To be here in this moment to share. I remember that I believe in “Everything has a reason!” On a day like today I am hopeful, maybe one person will relate and know they are not alone. On a day like today I am determined to be happy even if I only can get one thing done.

On a day like today, Fibromyalgia will not win. It will not take my joy. On a day like today I will take my time, I will rest when I need to and I will do what I can. I will not allow my condition the power over me.

On a day like today, I WILL SMILE! Knowing I am doing the best I can.

Lunatic Fringe Forever……..

I lost you

I never thought you would ever leave

I love you so much

I don’t know how to grieve

I wasn’t ready for you to go

it’s not right

I am hurt and alone

I know you were tired

I know you are better

I just feel dire

I lost you

my heart is broke

my mind is confused

I am in a joke

We will meet again

Somewhere in time

Until then I remain

To share in your memory

Cry when I need to

And to continue to love gracefully

Just like you Mom!!!!!!

*Dedicated to my “Other Mother” I love you Donna

Lunatic Fringe Forever

I’m doing “Live” videos on Facebook. Every Sunday I am doing informational videos, talking about “life.” Well I started with what it means to be a human being? I talked about the argument of evolution vs. creation. The history of humankind etc. Next Sunday I am looking at the Nature of Humans or Human Nature in regards to Is it Nature or Nurture?

The videos will become more focused on psychological subjects, but for now I am trying to lay the foundation. I try not to be preachy and just present factual information. I told my audience that the videos are to provoke thought and to inform.

I feel like in the world right now with the stress we face it may be a good thing to give people some needed support and try to give a more “Universal” view of the world around us. At least I hope that will happen.

I know that is good for me because I am doing a lot of research and it helps me consider several different points of view. I feel that even if I can touch one person or give needed information that I am doing something. God knows!!!

Wish me luck, I have had some really good response this far……

Lunatic Fringe Forever…….

So I was pondering in the shower the other morning.

The concept of perception.

I have been told over and over again that “That how I see any given situation is my Perception.”

OK, that is a true statement.

However, given that I have a Mental Illness what happens to my perception?

I know that there are times when the chaos in my brain can play tricks on my perception.

But I have spent the last years working with skills I have learned to calm the chaos.

Then I thought that I am told how good I am doing. Yeah me!

But then I don’t agree with someone else’s perception of a situation. OOOOO NOOOOO!

So then I am seen as the one with the flawed perception.

How is it that someone can see my improvement, know I am working hard to overcome the obstacles that I struggle with as symptoms of the Mental Illness, and I am doing so good, but my perception of any given situation is WRONG? “That is my perception.”

How does this work?

I am not allowed my own opinion, I am not supposed to express the feelings I have about a situation in my past that may be a “brick wall” I am trying to break down?

Because I see what happened in my past differently then another person may see it means because I am the one with “THE PROBLEM” I am the one that has the skewed perception?

I know I was taught to express myself factually, just use the facts of a situation and use I statements. OK, did that, but still after a logical, factual expression of the situation……

“THAT IS YOUR PERCEPTION!”

Yes it is, but that is what happened!

So if it is my perception, and my perception is skewed, so really I am not truly able to perceive correctly, but your perception of the situation is different then mine, but you don’t have a skewed perception, but that is not really happened. How is my perception wrong?

I feel as though I will never be seen as any more than a mental illness. That because I may not agree with the perception of others, I will be always seen as having the inability to interpret a situation clearly or be seen as having a skewed perception even if I know that my mind is clear.

Who makes the rules?

How long is the re-perception reload take?

Does it come with a user’s manual?

Can I find a YouTube video?

I don’t get it, am I just destined to be locked in the “Mental Illness” universe forever???????

Questions?????????

By the way, If someone, anyone tells me “that is my perception!” I will truly have a earthquake of perception. FUCK!

Lunatic Fringe Forever……………….