True Crime

What do you do when it’s your child missing? I lost it. COMPLETELY! On Tuesday night, two day ago, my daughter went missing. No one had seen her and by morning on Wednesday my son had to go to the police station and file a missing person’s report. For the last 24 hours I have been waiting by the phone for any updates on her whereabouts. What do I do? She is in Alabama and I am in Missouri. I feel so helpless.

She is 32 years old and her own person, but I am still her mother. I know she hates me right now because of past shit. Things I truly had not a lot of control over. It doesn’t mean I don’t love her with all my heart. I would do anything for my children. I miss them everyday and pray that they are happy.

What do you do when it is your child that is missing? Of course, I spent most of the day watching “True Crime” stories. In fact binge watching American Justice. Jesus, all the stories were about missing girls. I am sick. WTF, I am so far away and I can’t even talk to her. God she needs to come home. She needs to be alive and OK. There is nothing so heart-retching then to be told your daughter is missing and no one has seen her in days.

The phone rings and I am told they “think” they found her. Well fuck bring her home! You she is out there scared and alone, help her. Get her back to the people that love her. ME! I love her! I need her to be safe and happy. I need her home. Find her!

I prayed that my children would not inherit my crazy. I was told she has been off her medication for awhile and she is on a binge. NOOOOOOOOOOO! This is so wrong. I didn’t want my kids suffering it not their burden to carry. I tried I really tried to be a good mom, to love them and provide for them. I really tried! Why did this happen?

I could not protect them and now I wait by the phone, crying, feeling helpless and that I have failed her. I thought I did the best I could and I failed her.

Lunatic Fringe Forever…………….