Woke up at 5A.M. after falling asleep in my recliner. Went to to my bed and slept for three more hours just so I would feel like getting something accomplished today. On a day like today, the sun is shining through the haze of wild fire smoke, blowing in from the west. My cat is napping on the bed two feet from me and I can hear her gentle purring. Drank my first cup of coffee and am headed to get the second.
On a day like today, I should be out enjoying the warmth of the Spring, but of course there a the bills to pay and groceries to buy, but in my mind I am sitting by the lake reading a good book. Responsibility sucks especially when the day is calling. On a day like today my creative side is screaming to do something, anything. Paying bills is not really creative.
On a day like today the phone continues to intrude on my life. The problem is I can’t turn it off because I am alone and my husband is away. I can only hope to turn off the notifications so that it is not beeping repetitively. On a day like today the phone needs to thrown out a window. There is nothing so important that needs my attention.
On a day like today, the most important thing that needs attention is me. I want to write, I want to rest, I want to rearrange my cabinets, I want to go shopping, I want to do anything but the obstacle is my body. There is no cooperation. My mind is full of ideas and my body is broken. On a day like today I can only work slowly then stop. I want to achieve, I want to feel the gift of this day.
On a day like today complaining is counterproductive. But I live in a shell of a body that will not do what I need it to do. Yes, I have heard all the wonderful encouragement saying, “It is OK to take your time, be proud of the things you can do, and there is no shame in slowing down.” On a day like today I remember the strong body, the things I could do before the broken, and I become frustrated.
On a day like today there is no place for frustration! On a day like today I am grateful for being able to dream, accomplish anything. To be here in this moment to share. I remember that I believe in “Everything has a reason!” On a day like today I am hopeful, maybe one person will relate and know they are not alone. On a day like today I am determined to be happy even if I only can get one thing done.
On a day like today, Fibromyalgia will not win. It will not take my joy. On a day like today I will take my time, I will rest when I need to and I will do what I can. I will not allow my condition the power over me.
On a day like today, I WILL SMILE! Knowing I am doing the best I can.
Lunatic Fringe Forever……..