So I was pondering in the shower the other morning.
The concept of perception.
I have been told over and over again that “That how I see any given situation is my Perception.”
OK, that is a true statement.
However, given that I have a Mental Illness what happens to my perception?
I know that there are times when the chaos in my brain can play tricks on my perception.
But I have spent the last years working with skills I have learned to calm the chaos.
Then I thought that I am told how good I am doing. Yeah me!
But then I don’t agree with someone else’s perception of a situation. OOOOO NOOOOO!
So then I am seen as the one with the flawed perception.
How is it that someone can see my improvement, know I am working hard to overcome the obstacles that I struggle with as symptoms of the Mental Illness, and I am doing so good, but my perception of any given situation is WRONG? “That is my perception.”
How does this work?
I am not allowed my own opinion, I am not supposed to express the feelings I have about a situation in my past that may be a “brick wall” I am trying to break down?
Because I see what happened in my past differently then another person may see it means because I am the one with “THE PROBLEM” I am the one that has the skewed perception?
I know I was taught to express myself factually, just use the facts of a situation and use I statements. OK, did that, but still after a logical, factual expression of the situation……
“THAT IS YOUR PERCEPTION!”
Yes it is, but that is what happened!
So if it is my perception, and my perception is skewed, so really I am not truly able to perceive correctly, but your perception of the situation is different then mine, but you don’t have a skewed perception, but that is not really happened. How is my perception wrong?
I feel as though I will never be seen as any more than a mental illness. That because I may not agree with the perception of others, I will be always seen as having the inability to interpret a situation clearly or be seen as having a skewed perception even if I know that my mind is clear.
Who makes the rules?
How long is the re-perception reload take?
Does it come with a user’s manual?
Can I find a YouTube video?
I don’t get it, am I just destined to be locked in the “Mental Illness” universe forever???????
By the way, If someone, anyone tells me “that is my perception!” I will truly have a earthquake of perception. FUCK!
Lunatic Fringe Forever……………….