I Don’t Like Being a Grown-Up

Whoever said I can’t wait to grow-up truly is not enlightened to the facts of life. I remember being a teenager and wanting so bad to be grown-up, what was I thinking. This shit sucks ass!!!!

I just finished paying the bills and working out my budget for the month. I have a tension headache brewing behind my eyes. I love writing checks and watching my money dwindle down, praying that everything gets paid and I have enough in the bank to put groceries in the refrigerator. This is what “sane” people do.

I figured that having the “crazies” was going to exempt me from the grown-up. It was a illusion or in the crazy realm it is a delusion, hahahah! I am not delusional at least not today.

I guess when I was younger I thought that being able to do whatever I wanted because I was old enough, it just looked so wonderful, magical and then I got my first set of bills and rent and children and mortgage and utilities and doctor bills and grocery bill and a speeding ticket and gas for the car to go to a job and I hate working; people are stupid and I have to follow the rules. It is so wonderful, it is back to being similar to living with my parents. Someone is telling me what to do.

Now that I am “Crazy” (disabled) I am ultimately retired. No one is telling me what to do, but I still have the BILLS. I envy no one who has to work for a living. I did that and I admire each and every one of you!!! I don’t play well with others so me working is a joke. I found that I would have to be the CEO or President because I know better than anyone what is right. It is a woman thing.

Let me clarify, I don’t like authority, I have an issue with a boss that is rigid and is not a free thinker, you know the ones that thump company policy at you and you know that the policy is archaic. It may have worked 100 years ago but now things are changing. And I still have the bills.

So back to I don’t like being grown-up, especially when the aging process has attacked every inch of my body. I could truly write a book on the aches and pains that my body has experienced, wearing glasses because I can’t see anything two inches away from face, cataract surgery to clear up the blurry vision, chiropractor for my back pain, shots in my knee for pain and I wake up at 4am most mornings ready to start my day. What is that, who does that? Grown-ups!!!

Yes, yes I am bitching, but I know someone is reading this and are saying “Preach girl” you know how I feel!! These kids today don’t have a clue!!! I miss being young and having only to do the chores that mom asked me to do and finishing then going to the mall with my friends and babysitting for extra money to go to the movies or buy something, anything and not worry that it is not in the budget. Being with my friends talking all day, riding around in the car, checking out the guys, hanging out. That shit does not happen now, there is no time to do nothing. “You are a grown-up, act like one!” In my world that is a BIG FUCK YOU!

I personally refuse to grow-up, my husband has even told me I am a kid. OK, so we were taking a drive and I was so excited I could barely contain myself, in fact I told him that I was like a dog, if I could I would hang my head out the window and wag my tail because we were going for a ride. What is wrong with that, I will tell you NOTHING! I feel that if we periodically acted like we were 3 years old life would be so much better.

Why 3? Because I can talk in sentences, ask for what I want, pee by myself and be cute enough to con you out of anything. Spend some time with a 3 year old and get some pointers they are great!!! For me, I am a sit on the floor kinda person being with the kids because the grown-ups are too fucking stressful.

OK, so yes I am a grown-up, but only in the number associated with my age and when I am taking care of grown-up issues, 40% of the time. That other 60% I am 3 years old playing with my barbies and making stuff. I am trying to embrace the grown-up side and accept the grown-up things, but sometimes it is just so much nicer not having to “be” a grown-up.

Lunatic Fringe Forever……….

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