Depression Hangover

A hangover is the experience of various unpleasant physiological and psychological effects following the consumption of alcohol, such as wine, beer and distilled spirits. Hangovers can last for several hours or for more than 24 hours. Typical symptoms of a hangover may include headache, drowsiness, concentration problems, dry mouth, dizziness, fatigue, gastrointestinal distress (e.g., vomiting), absence of hunger, depression, sweating, nausea, hyper-excitability and anxiety.

OK, I didn’t ingest alcohol, but I had a deep depression that I had no control over. I have been really good for a long time. This was a result of a inundation of many crisis triggers all at one time.

This is the day after an episode, mine is like a kick in the head. It is not as bad as a drunk hangover, but it keeps me in a fog. I get a severe headache and there is so much fatigue. I can’t get motivated to do anything. I don’t want to eat because of stomach pain. I feel drained of all my energy and I usually nap on and off all day. Thank God for my husband who let’s me recover. Considering the day before my husband was trying to console me through the episode, poor guy had no clue how to help me.

If you have ever had a “hangover” you will understand a depression hangover. They are similar in the symptoms but there is less vomiting with the depression hangover, maybe.

Looking at the depression episode: I was angry with my daughter and sad because it was the anniversary of my sweet grandmother’s passing. On top of all of this my birthday was two days earlier. Trust me I have had more things than these drop on me at one time before and survived, but it still makes me want to sleep forever. Let me clarify, no matter what I am not suicidal, but I was tired of the crisis I was having. I was sad to the point of exhaustion. I was angry with my daughter and frustrated because she was/is behaving dangerously. I am a mother and I want to fix it and she is resistant to me.  I was crying all day, lying in bed, aching all over, wanting the sadness to stop.

I am not going to apologize for feeling to like I want to sleep forever. Unless you have walked in my shoes or through my brain please keep your judgements to yourself.

The experience is exhausting and I tried but couldn’t control the tears. Then my daughter came to see me and I went completely off on her. I screamed my head off, I was so hurt and angry I just went off. I hope she heard what I said. Even as crazy as I felt, I told her she needed to get help.

So I kind of slept and in the morning after the day from hell, I had a hangover. Headache, aches and pains, stomach pain and foggy brain. Not only that, it threw my fibromyalgia  into tailspin. Pull out the pain killers!!! Dry toast and warm tea, slow moving because my head was going to explode. Sounds like a hangover, looks like a hangover and feels like a hangover. Ice packs and heating pads, Naproxin and 7up, sun glasses and quiet!!!

Everyone has their own experience with the day after a mental illness fall out. There is no preparation for what may happen to you and it can be as difficult to recover from the hangover as it is to recover from the episode itself.  The main message I have for everyone is to care for yourself and don’t make apologies for having a bad day. Yes, there are times I get tired, frustrated and weak to the point of wishing to sleep forever, but I know that is temporary and if it continues then I have my support people in place to help me through the crisis.

It is OK to feel your feelings, intention is not action; however, if it gets to you wanting to take action please reach out for help. Bad days are temporary even if it doesn’t feel that way. Know that there are lots of us out here that KNOW how you feel and there is no shame in asking for help. Care for you first!!! Whatever it is that will help you see the goodness in yourself  DO IT!!!

Lunatic Fringe Forever

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