Family

*Disclaimer: This is a post that is “General” statements. I am not specifically discussing a particular person; however, there is an aspect of personal experience. I take no responsibility if anyone feels offended or guilty by reading this, that is why I do not use names to protect the innocent and/or the guilty.

Family is defined as a specific group of people that may be made up of partners, children, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. An example of a family is a set of parents living with their children. The definition of family is the group of people who share common ancestors.

I am always amazed how family can vary, not only is a family people who “share the same ancestors” there are those people in our lives that have come into our lives that we add as our father, mother, brother and sister. Friends can have a major impact in our lives. It’s wonderful to have that support. A lot of times these people will treat you better than those that “share the same ancestors.” I feel as though we find these friends that share our same interests so becoming close, having an intimate meaning sharing our secrets, hopes, dreams is easier with these friends than to share with family mainly because the dynamic of some families make it hard to be free to express yourself due to expectations. All of us have grown up knowing what our parents expected from us.

For me, I was expected to go to school and graduate from high school. My father was an educator and whether it was intentional or not there was an expectation that as his child it would be great to go to college. Oh, and get good grades, honor roll and Dean’s list. I was not that student, but I did OK. However: I had become pregnant at 18years old. My parents were dealing with their own relationship at the time, but for the most part they were supportive. They didn’t kick me out and I was attending college with no problems. But it was different for my grandparents, my father’s mother sent me a “lovely” letter. In summary it asked me “how could you embarrass your father like this.” I wasn’t sure what to tell her. My mother’s mom was supportive and after my son was born she babysat for me so I could go back to college. The best response to my pregnancy was my mom’s dad. Pop called me, “So I heard you got yourself knocked-up.” I think I choked and laughed. That was Pop, then he went on to give me advise, he told me, “Buy you a nickel ball of twine. Cut you a 4-6 inch piece, tie a noose on one end and if you are in that intimate situation again place the noose around your man’s member and when he gets ready to go just pull and no pregnancy.” At that point I was speechless. Yeah, I haven’t used that birth control, but there are times I wish I had!!!!

Lately there has been a lot of issues on social media. What am I saying there is always issues on social media. I am not innocent of staying out of the drama, I have added to it and there were times I started it. As I have become healthy I attempt to post uplifting, life-giving posts so that I am a force for good. As my daughter tells me, all rainbows and butterflies. I have the t-shirt, “I live in my own little world and it’s OK they know me there.” I refuse to get all in it anymore, there is a life-sucking aspect to the negative. Which brings me to the idea of “Social Media addiction” it’s real. And it is taking away from life. Not only are we spending way too much time on the technology, but we are losing the personal interaction which used to take place around the dinner table. Now we text, tweet, post, twit, snap, snip or whatever which makes it is to dismiss people from our lives.

Knowing that there was a friendship, believing that it was strong and feelings like brothers in arms with similar interests, stating that you may never had an older brother, but now because of this friendship you now have that brother. Years of shared experiences, laughs, cries, and all the joking shit that guys do, but in one swipe of the mouse or whatever on the phone, “I don’t want the negativity in my life anymore.” No more friendship, blocked and deleted from their life.¬† How did we get from having talks with each other to a swipe!? Years of friendship gone with push of a button. Family can be more hateful than any stranger.

These are only a few examples of the family dynamic and I know that I could write pages and pages of family things. Volumes, everyone has their own stories which cause stress or on the other hand volumes of family stories that give life and empowerment.

Final thought, believing in Creation: we are all brothers and sister born of Adam and Eve in the image of God! believing in Evolution we are all family originating from Africa or the primordial goo. Whatever your view the bottom line is that we are all FAMILY!

Lunatic Fringe Forever!

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