Spring Cleaning

The weather has cooperated so that the vitamin D flowing through me has made me a cleaning queen. It doesn’t hurt that “QUEEN” is in the CD player telling me I am the champion! However I realized that I have the grand ability to “sweep it under the rug,” that is to pile it up in my craft room. I figure it this way it’s out of the living room and off the kitchen table.

I realize that trying to get organized is not all that it is cracked up to be, I still find more things that I don’t have room for or I have squeezed it into a space “for now” and will find a permanent place for it later. It scares me to see how much stuff I have and how irrelevant some of it is.

The advantage to being crazy is I can accumulate a whole lot of stuff and keep it just because I want it. There is a significance to it, I would be lost without it, I have had it my whole life, it comforts me, or just because I liked it. I have recently began collecting things, I am not going to be specific because relatively speaking anyone can say the words that are written on this page. I just can admit that I may have too many crafting ideas, but at least I have the supplies available. I can still get in the room without tripping over things and stuff is not piled to the ceiling.

I remember getting out of the hospital this last time and after getting into counseling, getting a case worker and working on my therapy homework, one of the ways to fight my urges was to distract. I jumped full throttle into crafting. So now I have stuff. So now I am downsizing stuff. Stuff stuff stuff!!!

I have been Spring cleaning since last Spring, I get distracted by all this stuff and I start a new project and stop cleaning. And when I use some stuff I have to go buy more stuff to replace what I used or I need retail therapy, that’s a woman’s excuse it’s mine.

The word hoarder has been mentioned a few times, but there is a purpose for my stuff and when I buy something it is to replace something. One comes in, one goes out. Most of the time. It depends on the stuff. I get good stuff and I don’t spend a lot of money on stuff, I thrift store shop. I take someone’s trash and make it a treasure.

I guess that I have lost so much stuff in my life, I am trying to keep what stuff I have or at least let it be my decision to get rid of my stuff. All I want is what is mine. The security of feeling I have some control over my environment. Don’t make me get rid of my stuff, don’t take my stuff, don’t touch my stuff. Let me have my stuff, you can’t tell me what to do with my stuff, don’t make me give up my stuff. I have lost so much in my life, my stuff is important.

Please let me have my stuff. I know that I need to take care of my stuff that is why I am Spring cleaning.

Realize the chaos on this page is similar to the chaos that lives in the brains of crazy people everywhere. We want to have some semblance of control over our worlds, whether it be the bag lady and her shopping cart or me and my craft room, it is all the same stuff!!!

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